How Do I Regulate My Nervous System After Distressing Events?

By Sara Aird

Shared With Permission

We can know we’re safe and yet not FEEL safe.

This is what’s tricky about supporting our nervous system - removing ourselves from distressing or dysregulating events might not be enough to bring regulation. The external event is over, but the internal impact continues. This could be true of recent events, like the holidays, or past events from childhood.

In response to our dysregulation, we may notice our survival habits showing up to manage our internal states, like perfectionism, people pleasing, avoidance, busyness, apathy, anxiety, etc. We might also notice these survival habits don’t bring the regulation we long for.

Our bodies need signals that let them know we are safe. Signals spoken through the language of the body.

What makes regulation tricky is that it often creates space for us to feel and what we might be feeling underneath that dysregulation is painful. Showing our bodies their safe makes room for us to feel, and sometimes that isn’t easy.

In this way, dysregulation and regulation can put us in a bind because each of them brings certain emotional challenges.

Learning to care for and support your body and nervous system can be really hard. We often need outside guidance, compassion, and co-regulation to learn.

Sara Aird is a survivor advocate who uses her platform to educate others on CPTSD and how to heal from the impact of trauma. You can learn more about Sara’s work by visiting her website

Want to learn more about trauma and how to break free? Sign up today for access to the first annual Beyond The Wound summit