How Holidays Used To Be

By Sara Aird

Shared With Permission

While this post makes the healing process simple and straightforward, let me assure you, it isn’t. It’s been complex and difficult, and it continues to be challenging.

What perhaps has shifted most as I’ve healed through the holidays is how I relate to myself through a very difficult healing process.

I still experience painful emotions, shame, old coping skills, and trauma responses. Sometimes I’m hard on myself and frustrated with myself. My practice and process is to stay curious around how I’m relating to myself and what I’m experiencing.

And I’ve noticed that when I’m relating to myself with shame, pressure, judgment, and criticism, life feels so much harder. When I’m relating to myself with curiosity, gentleness, and a desire to understand, life still has painful moments but I’m not attacking myself as I walk through those moments. That really changes how I experience and process what’s happening.

This is all to say that healing through the holidays is a complex and difficult process, and perhaps if we can practice staying curious and gentle with ourselves as we experience it, we might find some relief.

How are you relating to yourself today? How do you feel towards what you’re experiencing and feeling? How might you soften towards what’s coming up?

Sara Aird is a survivor advocate who uses her platform to educate others on CPTSD and how to heal from the impact of trauma. You can learn more about Sara’s work by visiting her website

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