When Parenting Feels Triggering

By Maggie Viers

Shared With Permission

Did you need to walk on egg shells growing up? Not knowing what would set your caregivers off? Not knowing when the next bad thing would happen? Or did you simply learn that if you did things a very certain way, you’d receive love and connection? 

If I do this, then this. If I just act this way, then this. It left you in a constant state of overthinking, abandoning yourself and your intuition for your own survival. 

And do you find yourself now walking on eggshells with your own children? In a constant state of overthinking or trying to avoid a tantrum or meltdown or big feelings from your child? “Will this set my kid off? What about this?” Or if I just do this right or this way, then it will all be ok.

We learned to adapt, to morph into what we needed to in order to stay safe or receive connection and love. 

And as the adult, the parent now, it makes sense if we try to avoid these big emotions from our children to keep them “happy” It feels safer to our nervous system. Or we gain this pseudo safety by trying to gain control over an outcome. 

But children need limits. They need healthy release. They need their emotions to be free to flow and be expressed and held. They are messy, they are unpredictable. And they need us to step into our agency as the confident, compassionate leader.

Maggie is an Occupational Therapist who has evolved into a conscious parent coach. She has a passion for shifting the paradigm for how we view behavior and supporting other parents to become more connected to themselves, their children, and others. She does this by getting to the “why” and approaching life with curiosity. She helps parents to understand their own nervous system, sensory profile, and triggers so they can better understand their children as well.