You're Allowed To Want Others To See You And Meet Your Needs

By Molly Davis

Shared With Permission

When we believe we’re supposed to wait for other people to see and meet our needs, we may find ourselves waiting a long time. Which isn’t to say that wanting others to meet some of our needs is a bad thing, because it’s not. But when givers and helpers don’t know where the boundaries are, things can get one-sided real quick. 

We help, we give, and we pour out, hoping others will do the same for us.

After all, isn’t that what humans are supposed to do for each other? That’s what we do for others, anyways…

When our loved ones have problems, we’re the first to jump in to save them.

We focus our attention on everyone else, meeting their needs, soothing their emotions, putting out their fires.

But…then we have no time or energy left to tend to our own needs.

We feel guilty or selfish if we think about ourselves. 

“I’ll get to my stuff someday.” 

Ummm… When is our someday gonna come?

We hope that someone will notice how much we need help and jump in to save us. 

(We can’t ask — that would be selfish — but maybe they’ll see)..? 

But they're so used to needing us to be the rescuers that they don’t see us as one who needs help too (nor are they equipped to help us, even if they did). 

Oh, my friend. 

It’s okay to not be okay.

And it makes sense that we’re not.

We’re humans too. ALL humans have needs. Even us. 

Boundaries show us a better way, one that is nourishing, nurturing, and sustainable. 

It’s okay to ask for help. 

It’s okay to reach out to access resources.

It’s okay to be a human. 

Molly Davis, LPC, MAC, is a popular educator-coach, teacher, and therapist.  You may already know Molly from her beloved FB page, Wild Goose Counseling (115k+ followers), or from her cartoons on Insta @boundariedbootcamp (100k+). 

Molly takes delight in empowering women to discover who they are, own their space, and walk in their power.